An American Mystagogue




I have been called too serious; I have been called a clown
I have been called a Liberal; I have been called a Conservative
I have been told I think too much; I have been told I do not think enough

I have been an optimist; I have been a pessimist

I have taken care of the elderly ignored by their own family; I have laughed in the faces of old harpies and curmudgeons

I have fed the homeless; I have been fed by complete strangers while drifting

I have locked myself inside my house not to see sunlight for a week; I have lived without a roof or walls for longer

I have been a Theist; I have been an Atheist

I have been an outcast and avoided completely ; I have been well received and respected deeply

I have lost myself in storms of logic; I have lost myself in eruptions of emotion

I have given; I have taken

I have lied; I have been sincere
I have complained and gotten angry with beggars; I have begged

I have thought myself unequivocally Right; I have known myself insurmountably Wrong

I have spoken of the merit of compassion; I have barked cutting words into another’s Shadow

I have been arrogant; I have been humble

And a million more times things which do not have words…

There is no wall I have not built around myself

That I have not also shattered

Longing for the other side

Mourning the separation

There is no Effigy of Me I have not thrown into the fire

Only to build another and bow before it

And I wonder

About to-morrow

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